honesty

a friend of mine asked me last week if i regret keeping andrew. I was shocked that she said such a thing but she did have an abortion when she found out that she was pregnant and she said she has no regret of doing it.

That made me think. I admit, if i didn't have andrew i would be traveling more, being out and doing what i do best just laze around! Yes, its not the easiest thing in the world to raise a child! It would have spared me the grief of telling my parents their daughter is with child. So, would i have an abortion if i knew it would be this difficult?Ofcourse not. Eventhough i went through alot i wouldn't have given up the greatest joy in my life.

When we found out i was pregnant i was at my bf's house well now he's my hubby, we went out the nite before and i was throwing up everywhere at my bf's feet, my sis in law's hand and my friend's brand new shoes. I felt so sick that they practically carried me home coz i was so dizzy. My sis-in-law knew rite there that i was pregnant i ofcourse knew sumthin was up but was in denial. The next day at their house, he bought a pregnancy test. I didn't know what i was feeling. I was excited yet extremely scared, i could actually hear my heart pounding. His sis was excited so was his bro-in-law, they were trying to have a baby but juz couldn't so i was the next best thing.

My hand was shaking that i couldn't read the instructions, since it was a digital read out the stick would show PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT. After peeing on the stick, i was sweating profusely. PJ said after peeing i would get out of the bathroom and he would wait for the results.I just had to know so i stood there for minute then came the PREGNANT word. Ok, so now i was waiting for the NOT to show up and i guess it didn't.

I came out shaking and went straight in the bedroom. PJ took the stick and showed it to his sis. She was happy but at the same time was scared for me. She went through the same thing and she knew how difficult it was. So in one year, the year i turned 21, i got chicken pox then got pregnant.

Then came the part where i had to tell my parents. Well, they told us to get married but have the abortion. Hmmm, for days i kept crying. I couldn't eat,sleep and i was haing constant cramps.Which wasn't good, doctors kept telling me to stay stress free.How am i suppose to do that when my parents are looking at me when i'm a total failure?

Thanks to my aunts and his family,they finally convinced them that its right to kill a baby.They finally gave in. Surprisingly enough they were always concerened bout my health eventhough they didn't show up in court when i got married.They did show up for the dinner though.

A week before i went into labour my dad had another heart attack..it was horrible,i knew i would go into labour soon and i kept praying and talking to the baby.Don't come out yet...i need to help my mom out..hehe.It worked.I delivered the day my dad was discharged.

Nowadays,my parents can't go a week without seeing andrew.Especially my dad,he loves this little boy.In the end we're all one big happy family!!